What is Love

This is a very broad topic to me.  Some people measure how they are loved by material items.  In the United States, I believe like most people that there are to many holidays wherein you are forced to show your love by purchasing a gift.  Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Christmas, Birthdays, Fathers Day and the list goes on and on.  When I asked my husband what he wanted for his birthday, now this was many years ago, he replied….peace and quiet.  Now, when I think about what he said, it makes sense.  Day after day going to and from work, coming home just exhausted.  So, for him, breakfast in bed or watching sports all day, not having to do any fixing of anything, this to him was a gift.

Stores have made buying gifts a monopoly for them.  How many times have you bought a gift for someone, only to have them return it and buy something else.  Some people can not afford to buy gifts and feel bad that they did not get you anything.  They did get you something which is more important as far as I am concerned.  They have showed their love for you in other ways, whether it is seeing you through a tough time, taking care of you when you are sick.  This to me is love everyday.

When someone passes away, their love is not forgotten.  They are still loving you by giving you loving memories that you cherish and will not forget.  When your small child makes a card for you, those are loving memories you never forget.  I still have all the plaques my children made for me out of clay in school.  They are hanging on my kitchen wall where I see them everyday.  A love never forgotten.  My middle daughter called to tell me she would help shovel the driveway after this snowzilla we just had.  It turned out she couldn’t follow through with it, but it was the loving thought and thinking about her Dad and I.

Do we really need material gifts?  I can’t count the many times when working at Kay Jewelers I heard women tell their boyfriends or fiances:  You would get this (holding up a diamond bracelet or something) if you loved me.  In my way of thinking, is this some type of bribery?  Is she going to withhold sexual favors or something?  I am sure that this happens, and it is not love, wake up guys!

One Christmas I had bought my third husband, yeah, my third, no laughing here now; I bought him some shirts and when he opened them on Christmas day, he looked at his daughter and said “where did she buy these, Walmart?”  I couldn’t believe my ears, I was shocked and left the room.  Yes, I did cry because I am a very sensitive person.  Bottom line was I did not make a third of what he made in the way of salary.  I could not afford the expensive clothes he wore.  Oh, and I know what your thinking, and no I am not still married to him.

When thinking about how I can show my love to someone, I keep it simple and straight from my heart.  It is not how expensive something is or how much we spend that is important.  It is showing that person everyday how much we love them in our heart, from our heart.  Little things we do like making their favorite dinner, putting aside something we are doing to give our full attention to them.  We are all so busy, on different schedules, going different ways….we need to take that time for them.

Sunday’s was a very important time for my family when I was growing up.  There was always Sunday dinner with the family.  All of us at the same table, sometimes friends or distant family gathering with us.  How many times nowadays do we do this?  If you do have these Sunday family dinners, then I applaude you, that is great.  Clearing the dishes from the table with everyone pitching in, this to me is love too…..makes you feel appreciated for the meal you prepared with love.

If you can not afford to buy gifts, it’s not the end of the world, do not be pushed into it by the stores.  There are so many ways to show a person how much they are special to you.  I do have one more kind of funny thing to add to this.  When I was a little girl, around 10 and one of my family’s birthday was approaching I would ask them, do you want a card or a gift?  Now, this was funny to them, but to me I couldn’t afford both on my meager allowance!  Just thought I would share that.  My mother, even when I was in my twenties, use to remind about asking this question, and she would laugh.

“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.  When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.”  written by Thich Nhat Hanh


3 thoughts on “What is Love

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